My dreams are filled with fears.

Fears of being alone. Fears of being broken for the final time. Fears of not being enough no matter how hard I try; no matter what I do.

And in these dreams, I do everything I can to prevent what feels like the inevitable.

And in these dreams, all I do is receive confirmation of my multiple fears. Confirmation that my fears are real. Confirmation that reality is always going to be waiting for me.

Yet these dreams aren’t nightmares. They don’t have the same heart-stopping fear. They don’t cause me to wake up gasping for air like a person saved from drowning. They don’t cause me to wake up covered in a cold sweat. They don’t cause me to wake up in a panic; anxiety gripping my heart.

Instead I wake up calm.

I wake up with the faint taste of self-sabotage.

October TBR



Synopsis (from back of novel):
When the Rooks family moves to the remote town of Litchfield, NH to escape a haunting trauma, they’re hopeful about starting over. But something evil is waiting for them in the woods just beyond town. Watching from the trees. Ancient…and hungry.


I haven’t read a “scary” graphic novel in a while. I think the last one that I read was The Field and that one was more ~trippy~ than scary. However, I’ve shelved this one a few times at work, heard the occasional good thing about it from people who’ve checked it out and I’ve decided that October is the perfect month for me to give a read.






Synopsis (from Goodreads):
What has two eyes, a mouth, and wrinkly green skin? Mark’s shrunken head! It’s a present from his Aunt Benna. A gift from the jungle island of Baladora.

And Mark can’t wait to show the kids at school!
But late one night the head starts to glow. Because it’s actually no ordinary head. It gives Mark a strange power. A magical power. A dangerous power…

I haven’t read a Goosebumps book in forever and this one is definitely on my Re-Reading Childhood Favorites list. I think this is the first Goosebumps book that I read and I’m looking forward to seeing if it will still ~creep~ me out.
Also, as a quick sidenote: does anyone know why they changed the original covers of the books? These new covers kinda sorta suck😔




Synopsis (taken from back of novel):
Something dead has been here…

Gabe just got lost – in a pyramid. One minute, his crazy cousin Sari was right ahead of him in the pyramid tunnel. The next minute, she’d disappeared. 
But Gabe isn’t alone. Someone else is in the pyramid, too.
Someone. Or some thing.
Gabe doesn’t believe in the curse of the mummy’s tomb. 
But that doesn’t mean that the curse isn’t real.
Does it?

Ok, see, now these are the covers that I love and remember. I’m pretty sure this was maybe the second or third Goosebumps book that I read and it’s one of the ones that I actually still own so I figured I might as well add it to my October TBR / Childhood Favorites Re-reads.

BORROW || BUY (AbeBooks)




Synopsis (taken from inner flap):
Homicide detective Bryan Clauser is losing his mind. How else to explain the dreams he keeps having—dreams that mirror, with impossible accuracy, the gruesome serial murders taking place all over San Francisco? How else to explain the feelings these dreams provoke in him—not disgust, not horror, but excitement?
As Bryan and his longtime partner, Lawrence “Pookie” Chang, investigate the murders, they learn that things are even stranger than they at first seem. For the victims are all enemies of a seemingly ordinary young boy—a boy who is gripped by the same dreams that haunt Bryan.  Meanwhile, a shadowy vigilante, seemingly armed with superhuman powers, is out there killing the killers.  And Bryan and Pookie’s superiors—from the mayor on down—seem strangely eager to keep the detectives from discovering the truth.

Doubting his own sanity and stripped of his badge, Bryan begins to suspect that he’s stumbled into the crosshairs of a shadow war that has gripped his city for more than a century—a war waged by a race of killers living in San Francisco’s unknown, underground ruins, emerging at night to feed on those who will not be missed. 
And as Bryan learns the truth about his own intimate connections to the killings, he discovers that those who matter most to him are in mortal danger…and that he may be the only man gifted—or cursed—with the power to do battle with the nocturnals. 

Weird murders taking place in San Francisco, uh yes please. Seriously, who doesn’t love to read books that take place in their own city?



Synopsis (taken from back of novel):
When the Creeds move into a beautiful old house in rural Maine, it all seems too good to be true: physician father, beautiful wife, charming little daughter, adorable infant son—and now an idyllic home. As a family, they’ve got it all…right down to the friendly cat.
But the nearby woods hide a blood-chilling truth—more terrifying than death itself…and hideously more powerful.

This was the first Stephen King book that I read back in the 7th grade and I’ve re-read this book every single October since. Honestly, it is one of my all time favorite books.